Peace of Mind in a World Gone Mad
There was a time when I thought investing had to be exciting. I subscribed to twelve newsletters, tracked markets like a hawk, and checked my portfolio more often than most people check their cholesterol. It was exhausting.
Then one day, in a fit of clarity (or maybe just indigestion), I built the world’s most boring portfolio. It contained fewer moving parts than a lawn chair. It yawned at market news. It practically put itself to bed at 9 p.m.
And that’s when I started to breathe again.
Excitement Is Overrated
We’ve been told that investing is about action—buy, sell, trade, move! But in retirement, excitement is just another word for heartburn. My boring portfolio—some dividend ETFs, a short-term bond fund, and a splash of cash—doesn’t thrill, but it lets me sleep, fish, and occasionally nap twice in one day without guilt.
It turns out excitement belongs in movies, not in retirement accounts.
The Gift of Simplicity
A boring portfolio doesn’t brag. It doesn’t require daily maintenance. It just sits there, compounding quietly, while you get on with the business of living. Mine has given me something Wall Street never promised: peace of mind.
And that, my friends, is priceless.
Closing Thoughts
If your portfolio makes you yawn, congratulations—you’re winning. Because in the end, a boring portfolio is a beautiful one. It lets you enjoy the sunrise, sip your coffee, and sit in a lakeside chair without wondering what the S&P 500 did overnight.
Adapted from my book Life Goes On: Financial Comfort Food for Retirees, available now on Amazon in both eBook and paperback. It’s my humorous, heartwarming guide to finding peace of mind in retirement investing.
Disclaimer: This post is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not financial advice. Please consult a qualified professional before making investment decisions.