Why Prioritizing Your Own Financial Security Is the Best Gift You Can Give
Welcome to “Money Myths Retirees Still Believe”—a blog series that uncovers the hidden beliefs that can quietly sabotage your financial peace of mind.
Many retirees cling to common money myths that seem true but can lead to poor decisions, lost income, or unnecessary worry. Each post in this series explores one myth—like “cash is trash” or “I need to beat the market”—and replaces it with a smarter, simpler mindset.
If you’re retired or nearing retirement, this series will help you reassess your approach and feel more confident about your financial future.
The Myth: “I Just Want to Leave the Kids a Big Inheritance”
Martin and Linda, both in their 70s, had worked hard to build a modest nest egg. Their goal in retirement? Leave as much as possible to their three children.
They skipped vacations. They hesitated to repair the house. They even delayed dental work—because they didn’t want to “spend the kids’ inheritance.”
But when Martin was diagnosed with Parkinson’s, they realized they hadn’t left enough room in their plan for long-term care. Eventually, they had to sell the family home—ironically leaving less behind than if they’d planned differently.
👉 The truth is: your retirement plan should put your needs first—without guilt.
Your kids want you to be safe, secure, and happy.
The best legacy isn’t a big inheritance—it’s financial independence.
Why This Belief Is So Common
Wanting to help your kids and grandkids is a beautiful instinct.
You’ve spent decades caring for them, cheering them on, and picking up the pieces when needed.
So it’s natural to say:
- “I want to leave them something better.”
- “They’re just getting started—this money will really help them.”
- “I don’t need much; I’ll just make do.”
But here’s the risk: If you sacrifice your financial security, your children may end up supporting you instead.
What Happens When You Put Their Future Ahead of Yours
If you delay needed medical care, home repairs, or downsizing just to preserve your assets:
- You may reduce your quality of life
- You may become a financial burden if your money runs short
- You may pass down stress—not just savings
And if you’re too frugal now and live well into your 90s, your children may not see that inheritance until they’re in retirement themselves.
A Smarter Mindset: Take Care of Yourself First
You’ve earned the right to enjoy your retirement. That doesn’t mean being reckless. It means recognizing that your financial peace is the foundation of your entire family’s well-being.
Here’s what that can look like:
✅ Build a Plan That Puts Your Income First
Make sure your monthly needs—housing, food, healthcare—are fully covered by Social Security, investments, pensions, annuities, or other income streams.
✅ Set Aside a “Legacy Fund” (If It’s Comfortable)
Once your needs are secured, you can designate a portion of your assets to pass on—through a will, trust, or even gifts while you’re still alive.
✅ Give Small, Strategic Gifts Now
Instead of saving everything for later, consider giving while you’re alive—whether it’s help with a down payment, a college savings fund, or a special trip together.
✅ Plan for the Possibility of Long-Term Care
Healthcare costs are one of the biggest threats to preserving wealth. Factor in insurance or a reserve for caregiving needs.
✅ Talk Openly With Your Family
Many children would rather see you happy and secure than receive a large inheritance. Ask what they truly want—and you may be surprised by the answer.
A Real-Life Example
Elaine, a retired teacher, planned to leave her $500,000 home to her two sons. But the upkeep was draining her energy and budget. After a heart-to-heart conversation, she sold the home, downsized, and put the remaining funds into an income-producing account.
Her sons? They were relieved. “We didn’t want Mom wearing herself out just to leave us a house,” one said. “We wanted her to be comfortable.”
Elaine now has more free time, a travel fund, and peace of mind—plus a clear estate plan that gives what’s left to her family.
The Takeaway
Leaving a legacy is about more than money.
It’s about setting an example of wisdom, responsibility, and living well.
Before you worry about what you’ll leave behind, make sure you’re fully living now—with enough financial flexibility to enjoy your retirement and handle the surprises life may bring.
Because the greatest gift you can leave your kids isn’t a big check.
It’s the knowledge that you were secure, independent, and joyful in your final years.